50 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

If you can say yes
to most of these,
it's very likely
you're in a healthy
relationship:
1. You can name
your partner’s best
friend and identify a
positive quality that the person has.
2. You and your partner are playful with each
other.
3. You think your partner has good ideas.
4. You’d like to become more like your partner,
at least in some ways.
5. Even when you disagree, you can
acknowledge your partner makes sensible
points.
6. You think about each other when you’re not
physically together.
7. You see your partner as trustworthy.
8. In relationship-relevant areas such as
warmth and attractiveness, you view your
partner a little bit more positively than they
view themselves or than most other people
view them.
9. You enjoy the ways your partner has
changed and grown since you met.
10. Your partner is enthusiastic when
something goes right for you.
11. When you reunite at the end of the day, you
say something positive before you say
something negative.
12. You reminisce about positive experiences
you've had together in the past.
13. You can name one of your partner’s
favorite books.
14. You know your partner’s aspirations in life.
15. You can recall something you did together
that was new and challenging for both of you.
16. You kiss every day.
17. You’re comfortable telling your partner
about things that make you feel vulnerable
such as worries about getting laid off.
18. You have your own “love language” (pet
names or special signs you give each other).
19. You know your partner’s most
embarrassing moment from childhood.
20. You know your partner’s proudest moment
from childhood.
21. You never, or very rarely, express contempt
for your partner by rolling your eyes, swearing
at them, or calling them crazy.
22. You can list some positive personality
qualities your partner inherited from their
parents.
23. If you have children together, you can list
some positive personality qualities your partner
has passed on to your children.
24. You enjoy supporting your partner’s
exploration of personal goals and dreams, even
when this involves you staying home.
25. You have a sense of security: You’re
confident your partner wouldn’t be unfaithful,
or do something to jeopardize your combined
financial security.
26. When you argue, you still have a sense that
your partner cares about your feelings and
opinions.
27. Your partner lets you into their inner
emotional world—they make their thoughts and
feelings accessible to you.
28. You frequently express appreciation for
each other.
29. You frequently express admiration for each
other.
30. You feel a sense of being teammates with
your partner.
31. You know your partner’s favorite song.
32. You have a sense that your individual
strengths complement each other.
33. When you say goodbye in the morning, it’s
mindful and affectionate.
34. If you’ve told your partner about trauma
you’ve experienced, they’ve reacted kindly.
35. You don’t flat-out refuse to talk about
topics that are important to your partner.
36. You respect your partner’s other
relationships with family or friends, and view
them as important.
37. You have fun together.
38. You see your partner’s flaws and
weaknesses in specific rather than general
ways. (For example, you get annoyed about
them forgetting to pick up the towels, but you
don’t generally see them as inconsiderate.)
39. You’re receptive to being influenced by
your partner; you’ll try their suggestions.
40. You're physically affectionate with each
other.
41. You enjoy spending time together.
42. You feel a zing when you think about how
you first met.
43. You can name your partner's favorite
relative.
44. You can name your partner's most beloved
childhood pet.
45. You can articulate what your partner sees
as the recipe for happiness.
46. When you feel stressed or upset, you turn
toward your partner for comfort, rather than
turning away from your partner and trying to
deal with it yourself.
47. You have a sense that it's easy to get your
partner's attention if you've got something
important to say.
48. You like exploring your partner's body.
49. You can name your partner's favorite food.
50. If you could only take one person to a
deserted island, you'd take your partner.