My husband is a bully, my children & I are scared of him

Dear Bunmi,
My husband is a bully and the kids and I are
scared of him to the point that I can no longer
bear it . He beat the kid often and has
threatened to deal with me if I leave. The only
thing is that I don’t have anyone to turn to. My
mother lives in our hometown and I’ve lost
contact with all my friends. Please help.
Uju by e-mail.
DearUju,
I receive loads of letters from abused women all
the time and they almost always say that they
have “no one to turn to.” This is because as
part of the abuse, the man has cut off his
partner’s contact with other people. The first
thing you need to do urgently is to get to
know other people. Keep in touch with your
mum and make friends with people around you.
With outside help, you would get your
confidence back enough to cope with your
marriage.
I’m not saying you should not take your
husband’s threat seriously. But with support,
you’ll get more confidence. If need be, alert the
police, who could ask him to keep the peace.
In the end, to keep your sanity, you might have
to leave. This might even be a wake-up call
for your husband to want to save the marriage.