I am the abuser in this relationship

Dear Bunmi,
My boyfriend and I are in our late twenties and
we live together. We earn good salaries, have a
car each and I love him very much. However,
since we’ve started living together, I’ve
discovered that I’m usually bad-tempered with
him.
When an argument hots up, I lash out at him
though I usually feel contrite afterwards. We
usually argue about when we should get
married but he always sees no need to rush
into it as he puts it.
He’s now started reacting to my violence and
has threatened to retaliate if I continue. How
do I curb this?
Ekaete by e-mail.
Dear Ekaete,
I guess the fact that your boyfriend sees no
reason in getting married now
that you’re both living together has made you a
frustrated partner. But domestic violence is not
the answer. If you want marriage and he
doesn’t, then you have to decide whether or
not to stay in the relationship.
Have a talk together and decide which would
be the way forward for both of you. In the
meantime, when next you feel the urge to strike
out, count one to ten or leave the room.

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